March 15, 2011

My Father as a Policeman

Just yesterday I almost cry in front of two policemen, I shed a  tears cause I don't want them to see that I am crying in an instant. And no, I don't break the law. In fact I always get a transaction from them so they respect me. They just need my service as an cafe attendant in our shop as we do some typing job for them. And of course while in the middle of the work is a little conversation with them.

They ask me if I am a daughter of Sgt. Martinez and I just nod with them as I want to concentrate into typing. They keep on the conversation as I type my work . They said, they didn't have a chance to get along with my father whom that time is processing his papers for his early retirement and they are new in the Department. I just miss my father that time, and wondering what was my father is thinking, does he know that he is sick or is he really want to settle everything before he die.

My father died in a lung cancer. I didn't stay long in the house or witness his withered health  after I graduate because of work into other place and then I decided to get married early with my BF. I feel the guilt that I am not beside with him as he battling his cancer, he wanted to live long that's why he agreed to be hospitalized every time. Though I am there when father gave in his last breathe, he literally died on my arms.

I always remembered my father in his police uniform, very strict, prominent and respectful. So everytime I see a policeman in uniform I just see my father in them. And I miss my father so much.


  1. I can relate to you, Papa passed away almost 8 years ago and I can still feel the pain esp. that he passed without me there. Thanks for the visit Airine, I am now following this blog.

  2. The truth is I need him for some advice which requires a fathers decision but now that he is gone, me and mom decides for everything and I freak out really when my brothers are in trouble just wishing that father is here to take charge..

    thanks chubs for following and visiting even commenting. I haven't got along to your blog But I will right now

  3. that is why as much as possible i always visit my parents, i talk to them over the phone everyday. we also pamper them, they deserve to be happiest in this moment of their lives :)

  4. Sad but it happens that we only realized something or someone's worth when they're already gone.


  5. How Sad to lose someone dear to you..



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